One of our first challenges raising a special needs child was the transition from the typical baby "stroller" to a pediatric "wheelchair". We planned our very first Moeller Family Vacation with Trey's family during the summer of 1995 and made arrangements to pick up Trachelle's first wheelchair on our way through St. Louis. The transition from a stroller to a wheelchair was one of those changes into the unknown that scared us. It was one of our first steps from normal to "not so normal." I remember wondering if the new wheelchair would make us different. What will people think? How will they look at us? How will they look at Trachelle? Will Trachelle be treated differently? Will our family be treated differently? Having let my mind wander through the "what ifs," I finally convinced myself that everything would be fine and that I was being silly for thinking things would be so different.
Fast forward a few days...we had arrived at our gulf coast destination; Destin, FL...we had spent our first full day on the beautiful beaches. Trachelle loved the salty water and was so happy playing in the sugar white sand. After a full day at the beach we were all ready for some awesome Florida seafood. We chose a popular seafood restaurant located directly across from our rental condo. Trachelle looked adorable sitting in her brand new wheelchair. The frame was raspberry with a bright seat and back with a splash of different colors...kind of a paint brush effect...it was a SHARP looking chair. I remember crossing the street, convincing myself to suppress my questions about being different. Surely my fears were unwarranted. It was a good night, we were all so happy; laughing and joking with each other. We entered the restaurant and told the hostess we had a party of 8 and one of those 8 was a wheelchair. No problem...right?
Finally, our name was called and as we entered the restaurant I quickly noticed the change. Our seat was an oversized booth and Trachelle's wheelchair could only be positioned at the end of the booth...the restaurant's floor plan was obviously not designed for a wheelchair and the wait staff quickly demonstrated their irritation with the inconvenience of a wheelchair being placed in the serving path. Some of the staff bumped into her chair and passed by in a huff...others made rude comments as they passed. I was shocked by the way they were acting and was hurt by the treatment we were receiving. After ordering our food and witnessing several "bumps" to Trachelle's chair, we decided to take her out and hold her until the food arrived; partly to let her stretch but more because I wanted her out of the chair to keep her from getting bumped anymore. The empty chair next to the booth irritated the staff even more and prompted the manager to ask if he could put her chair in the back. Trey told him that Trachelle would need to sit in the chair to eat...the manager communicated his displeasure and walked away. As he left, I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I tried and tried to fight them back but it was wasted effort...as the tears rolled down my face, I left the restaurant...yes, my first little pity party. My fears were coming true...we were "different." No longer did we fit in.
Our entire family left the restaurant and we shared several tears that night. Ultimately, we had dinner at a different restaurant and enjoyed spending our time together as a family. But damage had been done...I will never forget that experience and it's effect on my life. It was the first of many reminders that life with a special child would be different.
